grandma kathleen

Well Mother's Day has come and gone and still no Baby B. Which, as frustrating as the wait can be, is okay. I have the rest of my life to celebrate motherhood:) I was thinking about how this one particular day of the year for me has been more of a day of rememberance than celebration, at least for the last 17.5 years since my mom passed away. Of course there are other mothers in my life and I am thankful to have them, but my heart always feels a little more empty on this day.

As I prepare to be a mom, my thoughts always wander to my own mom. What was she thinking in the days before her babies arrived? How did her labor go? What advice would she give me? Who am I going to call at 2am when my baby is crying or sick? There are so many times that I have said to myself "I wish my mom was here" but this really is the hardest. Dad has been good about sharing his recollections of what being a new parent is all about (thank you!!!) but it's different than hearing it from your mom. It is unfair, but this is what God has chosen for our family. And I accept that now.

Enough dwelling on the bad. We have reason to celebrate as another new baby is about to arrive. Which traits will my baby inherit from Grandma Kathleen? Perhaps it will be her calm, gentle nature. Or her patience (this I was not blessed with). Her quirky sense of humor. Her ability to love unconditionally. Her beautiful red hair and blue eyes. Her youthful skin or slender fingers or the freckles. The list could go on forever for those that did not have the pleasure of knowing her. But I digress. Because for as long as mom has been physically gone, I still so many years of memories that just don't seem to fade. And I will make sure that Baby B knows all about what a wonderful woman Grandma Kathleen was.